Baggy Pants and Face Lifts
By Julia A. Keirns
(This article was published at ChildrensMall.com on February 3, 2001)
We have lived in this big old house a long time now. It has always looked tough, but we were content with it. At least we had a house. It didn’t bother us that the paint was chipping off the old wooden boards that sided the house. But then the old wooden boards began chipping off the house! We have let it go as long as we possibly can, not wanting to acquire more debt. The time has come to spend the money whether we want to or not.
So, we are getting the house sided. It is getting a face lift. You know, a new outer covering that will cover up the old and give it a new look. New siding will look so much nicer. Someone new to town won’t even know how bad it looked before. And those in town who have known the house for years will be shocked and delighted at how nice it finally looks.
I thought about my weight condition in the same way. I was overweight for a long time. I looked pretty tough, but I had been content with it. I had “looked” fat for many years. It didn’t really bother me though. I let it go as long as I possibly could, not wanting to really spend the time and energy needed to do anything about it.
Then, one day it did bother me. Just like the siding was no longer covering the house well enough, so my clothes were no longer covering my body well enough! It was time to get a face lift. You know, a new outer covering that would give my body a new look. No, I didn’t want new clothes. I wanted new skin. Smaller, tighter skin to be exact.
So, I decided to lose weight. Losing weight would make me look so much nicer. New friends wouldn’t know how bad I looked before. Old friends I had known for years would be shocked and delighted at how nice I looked. (At least I hoped they would.) Eventually, I did lose weight, and several inches of skin too. Suddenly my clothes were all too big for me. Some of them literally fell off of me. Boy, how lucky can you get? When you lose a significant amount of weight you technically get two face lifts. Not only do you get smaller, tighter skin but you also get smaller, tighter clothes.
My husband started calling me baggy pants. They did look pretty baggy, but I was content with them. At least I had pants. I had lost the weight I wanted to lose and it did not bother me at all that my clothes were too big. I loved it. I let it go as long as I possibly could, not wanting to spend the money on a whole new wardrobe.
Then one day it did bother me. I was sick and tired of being called baggy pants. I went shopping and got my second face lift. You know, a new outer covering that would give my body a whole new look. I decided to buy some of those tighter shirts and jeans I had always wished I could wear. Now I could. I also needed new bras and underwear. I even had to buy a new coat. Buying new clothes would make me look so much nicer. New friends would not know how tough I had looked in my baggy pants, and old friends would be shocked and delighted to see me in new clothes.
The new clothes worked. People started commenting on how nice I looked. Underneath all those baggy clothes they really had not been able to tell how much weight I had lost.
So, what’s the point? Go ahead and get a face lift. Not literally, but you know what I mean. Life is short and we can’t take our money with us when we die. So encourage yourself all you can, without going broke of course. Go ahead and get some new clothes, or a new vehicle, or new siding on your house. You probably deserve it.