When All The Kids Go Back To School
By Julia A. Keirns
(This article was published at ChildrensMall.com in September, 2001)
I’m sitting here at my computer trying to write an article for the website, and I am totally bombarded with children wanting this, and children wanting that, so-and-so did this, and so-and-so did that. But through all the frustration and anxiety, I’m reminding myself of the joy that soon and very soon ALL of my children will be going back to school! In fact, by the time you read this, the magic day will have already arrived and passed. We will be almost into our third week of school already.
My children are all old enough now that they are in school all day long, every day. I now have an eighth grader, a sixth grader, and a third grader. I’ve actually been childless during the school days for the last three years now. Every day at 8:30 (except for those unavoidable fog delays) I am able to grab a cup of coffee, sit down in a chair and enjoy some much-needed peace and quiet. No, I am not trying to rub it in – there is a point to the article somewhere.
As much as we say we cannot wait for them all to be in school full time, we have to admit how much we really do miss them. All moms do, or should at least a little bit. But, at the same time, I absolutely love my free time without the children around. I have never felt like a bad mother for so willingly sending them off to school each morning. I know a lot of moms out there still have little ones at home, or are just getting started. To those moms who are finding themselves finally childless this year, I have some pointers I would like to share with you.
One thing I do is that I try to use my time during the day wisely so my schedule is free for them as soon as they walk in the door. I know they have not seen me all day and are always excited to tell me what happened, or who did what at school today. With three of them walking in the door at the same time, there are even bound to be conflicts and hurt feelings if I am not attentive enough to them. They almost always have papers to show me, or homework to do. Sometimes they have projects they want to get started on, or research they need to do. And they are always hungry. So as much as possible, I make it a point not to be busy or in the middle of something when they walk in the door at 3:30.
Secondly, I don’t just go back to bed when they leave in the morning. If I do that, I find myself with absolutely no energy to get anything done during the day and I waste every single hour I have. If I have not accomplished certain things I wanted to get done that day, I find that I am tempted to take it out on them when they get home and keep me busy all evening long. So I make sure to get done what I want to do first, then I take a nap if time allows.
Next, I didn’t want to just do housework all day long every day, so that first year that I was childless during the school day is when I got more involved with my hobby. That is when my writing really took off. I always enjoyed writing but was the normal procrastinator and used the kids as an excuse for not taking the time to write more. Once the youngest went to school full time, I really dug myself into my writing. Sometimes my whole day is consumed with writing an article or story and the dishes do not get done. But I feel so much more fulfilled as an individual person and artist by spending time doing something I love to do so much. What do you like to do? What hobbies do you have? Find something you enjoy doing alone and spend some quality time doing it while the kids are in school.
Whatever you do, don’t just sit around and waste your own life doing nothing but housework and waiting around for the kids to come home. Be there for them when they need you, but be the person God intended you to be as well. For some mothers that means going back to work, and for others it is just a matter of finding something they enjoy doing to occupy their time. The day will come when the last child will come home for the last time and then what will you do?
I would have loved to be one of those parents in the new commercials about the kids going back to school. Have you seen any of them? The parents are jumping up and down for joy while purchasing school supplies for their children. That’s me! I dearly love my kids, but I am glad it is time for school to start again. I am jumping for joy.